Hi dear fans, friends, lovers, community. Dear people. Dear humans. This is your friend Amanda Palmer. Once again I am extending my hand to you and saying, “This gesture from me is a caress across your face, going deep into your soul, and ending up in your pockets” as once again I am forced to ask you for your help to realise my vision.
Not forced. I am not forced. I am Amanda Palmer. Forced is the anti-, forced is the monster. I repudiate the monster, I ask the beast to leave.
Today I am once again asking you to lift me above you, to bear me aloft. Today I ask to be a cloud - I do not want to tread on the ground, I want to be raised above, held by you, a swaying crowd of my friends and fellow art lovers, lifting me as I sail through the sky. Your arms, lifting me, are dollars.
I need $17,500 for my new project, something which is very close to my pulsating heart, which I need to do. For this new artistic endeavour I require financial help, to complete my artistic mission.
I first got the inspiration for this project last year, as I was lying face up in the Adriatic, gazing at the stars. Swimming at night makes me who I am. Then I felt a greater force than me, all around me, and it wasn’t just the great mass of the body of water (!). I knew then that I wanted, needed, was required to do this.
What I need
250 grams flour
150 grams good dark chocolate
200 grams sugar
250 grams good quality butter
Do you have experience of baking? You can help me make this chocolate cake, by mixing all the component parts of the work according to the instructions I have created, for $5000. To slice the cake into three parts, I require a person to create portions from the finished work - one slice (1/16) for the baker, one slice (1/16) for the cake-cutter and one (14/16) for myself and my millionaire husband, the artist and human Neil Gaiman. You can apply to be the cake-cutter for $1000 (please have experience of cutting things). For $20, I will send you a printed copy of the poem I have written about this cake (see below), signed by me, and a video of my team and me making the cake together, with music. For $5 I will send you a photograph of the cake that I have taken with my own camera and printed by hand on my computer.
ALL THE MONEY YOU PAY WILL GO TOWARDS BUYING THE INGREDIENTS FOR THE CAKE, AND OUTLAY COSTS SUCH AS ELECTRICITY.
Love and blessings always. Long live art!
Amanda Palmer x x x
This food has travelled, this food is rich
Cocoa flew here from Guatemala, picked by happy hands.
Eggs are life: six existences cut short
But in afterlife contributing
To make their mark as eggily they mix with
Grain - their cousin, grown on land
Tilled by happy hands.
Picked, unhusked, the grains are ground
Like the ground
From which they came.
A neighbouring cow gives generously,
Her female udders sloshing beautifully as she whiles her time on earth,
Her life-force gleaned in honest buckets
By happy hands
By a woman who knows the secret
Of the solidification of milk - the way the liquid can realise itself.
And the cane.
The cane is not forbidding, I do not fear the cane
For I know what canes contain
And how lovely is the grain
That renders sweet what once was plain
These friends in nature my happy hands conjoin
Within my grandmother’s old cracked bowl.
They are melded in the sanctum of the earth’s heated clay whence they first came
And I bring the mark of love - the heat of the flame - to bid my mixture
For you are ready now.
For now you are ready.
For ready, now you are.